Motherhood thou art lonesome. Some kind people like to inform you that it is exhausting. Sure I can deal with exhaustion. What they don't tell you that exhausting is just the closest way to describe it, the English dictionary needs a new word to describe what new mothers feel. I often like to think that being a new mother feels like falling in love every single day or every single hour or moment. The wait for that the one call or gesture feels like endless torture and at the moment it is received it washes one with a warmth that scrubs clean every one of those feelings from earlier. Its like that with your baby, thru the endless feeding, cleaning, pacifying and worrying that one smile, that one look, is pure ecstasy. Who else can boast of such a ready supply of every day giddiness. There are moments like now when the constant roller coaster leaves one too exhausted to sleep for even sleep is tiring.
Oh the trials! Knowing that the new found seemingly limitless patience is far too short. Yet the absolute bliss on seeing your baby's sleeping face, the joy of being playfully beckoned, the euphoria of seeing your babe learning something new, makes one forget the harshest of sentiments.
Sleepless Nights, two simple words that don't become as dreaded until one is in the middle of them. Sleepless nights do not encapsulate the long sleepless tiring days, which repeat themselves over n over again. How one finds the strength is unknown, perhaps there is an invisible IV line that goes to heaven or is being carried around by a helpful angel. Yet watching your baby awaken in the morning is as peaceful as watching the sun rise.
The hardest part about being a mother is constantly acknowledging one's own inadequacy. It is mind numbingly exhausting to buck up after feeling that you are failing on so many different levels and knowing that getting back up is a long steep slippery slope. The complete helplessness arises because one knows the baby is being a baby. Realizing that you are not able to cope with it, shows you a picture of yourself that isn't pleasant to see.
As the weeks pass on and the challenges change one tends to forget the difficulties and thru the passage of time forgets them entirely and only remembers the ecstasy . Perhaps this is why there is no word for exhaustion cause once you crossover you have no need for the word.
PS: A big love for my laptop which saved the draft without any prior instructions before spontaneously shutting down and to My hubby for taking the pains to edit this and put up with my late night rants
An ode to new mothers
If i could do whatever I wanted to do right now
Intelligence Unlimited
I have a low opinion about the way women are potrayed by the media. We've been reduced to silly simpering people who are constantly on the look out for salvation thru fairness creams, anti-ageing creams, soap sand enough cosmetics to poison a whale. This salvation comes in the form of some scrawny man who sends us all in a tizzy with that ohh so hot deodorant and hair gel.
On the trail of Swere Caps and chinese olympics
Ok..so they are manhole covers!
Anyone living in Mumbai during the rains is pretty familiar with the sudden bursts of torrential rains. Makes me kinda think that God suddenly turned the tap on up there.
What amuses me is not what goes on up there , but what literally goes on below us.
Since it rains like crazy a few months every year I guess the BMC decided not to sacrifice space for storm drains and just build roads to the last possible inch. Now when it rains all that water has no where to go!! which of course leaves ordinary citizens getting all the goo on their clothes as they wade thru them. SO as a stop gap BMC opens up manholes to let all that water go down somewhere!!! Next Some unsuspecting wader falls into these open holes.
The drama hungry media where happy to blame the entire situation on the BMC who were already miffed with Uncle Sam warning it's citizens about open manholes in amchi Mumbai. A little bit of investigation reveals that most of the missing man hole covers have actually been stolen!!! and the BMC blames the Chinese Olympics!!!
Sure enough Uncle Sam is facing a similar situation back home, this time they are blaming China and india
If only the scrap market for my old-no longer fitting clothes was as lucrative.. sigh, Aah well we all need iron to complete our concrete jungles. Though i don't quite fancy my new house built with manhole covers in a new avtaar
Miss'd Out
Recently I shed my official single status. My parents have been smiling ear to ear since the blessed event. Fulfilling all the required rituals with enthusiasm i didn't know existed. Oh the joy!! so much so that my own brother danced with the barathi's .
All those years of swearing by simple, small and private weddings where flushed out like used tissue by my parents. Though i can salvage some of my pride by having escaped an elaborate cermony at an unearthly hour(ok not so unearthly for after hours party lovers!!) I can boast of a multi-cultural 1 hour wedding. ( my dear cousins had to sit thru hours n hours)
This of course translates to me not having valid reason to argue with my cell phone operator to have my mrs changed to ms. On the bright side I have by virtue of marriage come into pocession of TBs of disk space and countless media files. I am sure I can create plenty of more space by deleting my husband's pornographic collection(sshhhhh i didn't say that out loud).
Of course there have been changes to my life. I now share closet space with my husband, but in exchange for an upgrade to my ipod and my phone bills crashing I ain't complaining.
I read cosmo in the pretext of learning new recipe. My mother -inlaw thinks that i am working while writing this blog.
People often ask me how life is after marriage, i snigger since the question should really be directed to my in-laws and my husband.
hee hee smiling ear to ear.
On High Heel Note
Life is pretty good especially so when you are proved em all wrong!!!
I've been told on several occasions by people, from all walks of life, with varying amount of asperity on the dangers of wearing high heeled shoes.
Slip disks, back aches, slips, falls....the wise cracks of committing suicide by jumping of my own shoes etc i listen to with amusement.
Today however when i was climbing down the stairs by some freak my dupatta got caught in my shoe and i (note) almost fell.
The high point being that since i was exercising the care my fashionably high heel warrants i was able to prevent the fall. I can effectively reconstruct the image of me tumbling down the stairs like rag doll had things been different
it has happened often to me and my fellow gals so often wherein we tend to trip and stumble and fall more often when we are wearing our sensible flatties.
So as a clumsy always stumbling person..my high heels are my life saver...god bless all my beautiful pairs and may i have many more.
~ She with the most shoes wins
So long
And so as the clock moves ever so slowly towards the seventh hour,
I look vaguely upon the lighted monstrosity,
hoping for words to flow.
Alas soon I will bid thee good bye
I hope the next owner shall look at you more gleefully than i
The dull grey dusk has set in already,
It will be time soon for me to leave
on good terms we shall part
our paths shall never cross again
YAY…I get out of here at last :)